I'm all for the movement in social media lately aiming towards 'self care'. However, I feel like a lot of people assume that this just means taking a hot bath with a face mask and eating your favorite comfort foods. Granted, while I think taking time to pamper yourself is PART of self care, I also think it's important to really sit down with yourself and figure out what you really need long term. For some people, like me, this can mean asking for help when a face mask may just not be enough to lift the spirits.
I have undergone major life changes in the past 6 months. I got married in September to the man of my dreams, and I've dealt with the shifting trials and tribulations of working for a small startup company. While a lot of these changes are positive, there are also a lot of things to adjust to. Marriage is not always easy - society and social media has conditioned us to believe that marriage is a a constant blissful weekend of shopping, cleaning, brunching, and cuddling. It's also a lot of work- remember, you and your partner are both only human. Sometimes you come home from work in a bad mood and take it out on your partner. Sometimes they get upset at you for not washing their favorite pants with your load of laundry. While these are all 'sometimes', the feeling of knowing that something is forever can make the difficult times feel that much more difficult. I also live in Florida, while the rest of my family and friends live in Chicago. It is hard being away from them for long periods of time, especially when times are difficult. In addition to all these feelings, we moved locations at work which caused every day issues that are normally easily resolved to be amplified and 10x more stressful than ever. I would shoot out of bed every morning in a panic to check my work email, and sometimes would even cry- something that I've never done in a work environment.
While it's normal to feel down every now and then, I noticed that I was down all the time. starting around New Years. I couldn't sleep very well, had little appetite, and no motivation to do anything that I didn't have to. My husband would try to help, but just didn't have the right words. One day I woke up and looked in the mirror, and didn't like the person I had become. I wanted to be a good wife, a productive worker, and most importantly, happy with myself. I decided to make an appointment to see some mental health professionals, and have them evaluate me to see what the best treatment. Whether this is medication, therapy, etc I am open to any options - my appointment is at the end of the month, so I'll try to keep the journey updated through my social media channels. I also downloaded Headspace, an app that a co-worker recommended for me. They have daily meditation sessions that can help you sleep, help with stress, etc. In addition to this, I began to avoid even looking at my phone at all first thing in the morning. I've decided to get myself ready for work, eat breakfast, have tea and then check my phone/emails once I got to work. There was no point in frantically checking emails while I was still in my pajamas- I wouldn't be able to do anything until I got to my office, so why make myself anxious? Subtle changes like this can make a world of difference.
While I love a good bath, rom-coms, ice cream, and epic skincare routines, I think an important part of self care that people are missing is taking the time to advocate for yourself and ask for help when you need it. No one is going to do this for you - it's a bitter pill to swallow at first, but with the increasing awareness around mental health, I feel a bit more confident in asking for the help that I need and have probably needed for a long time. I am not a doctor or expert on mental health, but I hope that if you are reading this and have similar feelings. you can find resources for your self care. Many college and high school campuses, and even certain employers offer counseling service free/included with tuition. Take advantage of these services. It is the most important thing in the world to really take care of yourself, and ultimately love yourself. Don't wait.
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